While Watching Birdman (or: and also a couple of scenes from Jaws 3)


note: the following was written a few nights ago by Jonathan Montgomery, Shayna Lynn, and me after reading poetry on the radio (link to listen pasted down below) and then going back to my place and watching Birdman.

While Watching Birdman (or: and also a couple of scenes from Jaws 3)


“You’re drinking? “I’m having a beer.”


I’m having a Batman


My hairpiece removes 20 drinking years


While also looking back fondly on the days

when we couldn’t turn our neck


I’m having a Hulk

–the better one


Make it a double green

like shamrocked ass cheeks


with extra why-me?

and shaken angry/not stirred


Ok! Look who just walked in the theater bar…


A chance at being heard

leaving behind a telekinetic scene


screaming things like:

I want to hide my pot

in your peanut butter!


And ‘It’s only real if I’m hard’

“I need to feel real”


He can only fuck if they’re watching


so if you’d

you know,

like to look at me later

that’d take care of the watching


That’s hard too. Get self respect!


that’s how you keep yourself

on the edge of “did I

just do that?”


That’s how you make

a gravy & tomato sandwich

when all you’ve got is bread


(Who wrote this?)


The drunk on the stage

begging for flour


I am my busted nose’s

worst dream


I’m not afraid to bleed

When is he going to fly?


maybe as soon as it stops

snowing outside


Is there gonna be a blow scene?


Hold on a voice is talking to me


(Deep growl) Truth or Dare:

stick the long tracking shot

part of my penis

all the way into your mouth


He can only fuck when they’re watching

“Let em watch she says”

Is this my finest hair piece?


This is what we talk about

when we talk about

watching two people eat soup


one person takes turns being

the spoon

the other person takes turns

being the mouth


The critic Campbell’s labels

her actless opinions


Everyone gets fifteen minutes

of Warhol


which will take at least 30 minutes

of whisky to wash the Warhol out


Technicolor stew pot situations

the Birdman will rise again


I’m Birdman!


Everything we’ve ever lost

is Birdman!


the sock stuck behind the dryer


the cereal that falls on the floor

and rolls under the fridge



The guy you used to know

who was half-bird


is half bird man

like your love for me,

half Birdman


maybe your affections are

a seagull gliding over the ocean


or a jellyfish




The final act is a toaster

on number 6

Croutons or cracker bang?


the toast gets confused

but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t love you

even though it doesn’t love you



goes the toast


Big baby’s a banger

hope he wins a Tony


and if not a Tony

at the very least

a Ralph


Hope he gets a beak

for a new nose

or maybe a Joker face


or a new nose that can tell

the difference between Twitter

and my life in paint


a Darwinian adaptation

bright yellow or orange



A nose as big as

the nose building

in New York City


a face the size of daydreams


Cauliflower clouded

the few, did you see?


And landed with a

symbol crash?


the natives,

being no fan of percussions,

shot arrows into the very

heart of things


Birdman doesn’t eat seeds


But Seed-Man eats birds


and Seedbird eats man

when it’s on sale


And Jaws eats man whenever


Da nunn, Da nunn…

3D fish head

I didn’t need that leg anyways


we’ll just forward to the part

where he eats in the tube




(Michael Keaton, we love you)



radio link:


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