The Six Million Dollar Man’s Bulge



Collar 2:


The Six Million Dollar Man’s Bulge


red jumpsuits

combined with the fact

that we’ve all just crawled

out of tequila


can cause our collected junk

to look like Bigfoot


it can cause our collected junk

to perform feats of pure bravery

which are ignored by the general public


because these feats are blurry

and performed while hidden

deep inside your woods


and just because these feats

may not get a pat on the back

from Ryan Seacrest and then hand gestured

over to be ball-stroked by a panel

of washed up judges


that doesn’t mean they’re not feats

cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha Darling!

they’re still feats!


feats which leave footprints!


noble footprints of love!


there’ve been plenty of songs

written about this


buildings have been built

to such things


rings exchanged


monuments erected


but that doesn’t change

the fact that last night

while we slept

your face

against mine


the goddamn corporations were

casually at work

assimilating everything shaped

like a building


buying up

all the monuments like they were

the goddamn sky

purchasing clouds


maybe money can’t buy happiness

but it sure as fuck can buy

red jumpsuits

& yr own sound effects


it sure as fuck can buy governments

and erase science


it sure as fuck can turn the world

into a Pena Co-lat-a


and any hope we have

of treading tequila

into wet booze-tread-gulping



the odds are a closed taco store

that only random mood rings

make it to shore


but as long as we’re here


do you want to go to the movies

with me?

because I want to go to the movies

with you




(Collar 2 of Ft Vending Machine, a 4 Collared poem)

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