What’s Good Nadal?

 

What’s Good Nadal?

 

What’s good Nadal?

I hear you’re in New York now

and that the US Open’s through with you

 

That’s rough

Have you heard the new Rob Thomas album yet?

Did you just spend the entire day eating pizza?

 

You should head down to Central Park

I once saw a turtle there the size of a Big Wheel

I once stood in front of the David Letterman sign

in front of the Ed Sullivan Theater with a woman

who loved me

 

I can’t remember because I don’t give a shit

Nadal,

were you ever on that show?

That’s curious

Do you plan on sharing the story of your brand new recent loss

with Stephan Colbert anytime soon?

 

Do you know how much weed that one kid

in the Final Destination franchise has in his pockets right now?

You sound upset to me

Do you have rhetorical change for a quarter?

 

What’s your favorite sun flower?

Mine’s the Helianthus

No I didn’t have to look that up!

 

but I did right now

a few minutes ago

I just peed in the kitchen sink

because there’s nobody around

to tell me not too

That’s ridiculous

 

Nadal!

 

If you could pee in anything without getting shit for it

what would that thing that you pee into be?

 

Don’t answer that

Thank you

I don’t want to know

 

Nadal!

Are you listening?!

 

Does your balogna really have a first name or not?

Mine doesn’t

That’s gross*

Mine’s got 97 nicknames

but a specific style of luncheon meat’s not one

 

I feel bad about myself for writing that last line

but not bad enough to erase it

 

That’s what it’s like being me

Is that what it’s like being you

 

Nadal?

 

I’d think it probably would be

 

But what do I know?

I’ve never liked you

but I don’t like the dude who beat

you, maybe, even more

 

which has me thinking

 

Do I have to start rooting for you now?

Because I know we’ve had our problems

and I really don’t want to do it

but if you keep losing like this to that guy

I feel like I’m going to start rooting for you

soon

 

shit,

as in: Oh well

 

life is weird

like that

Nadal

 

Can I call you Nadal?

Can anything save everything?

Can you tell me what’s good?

 

*Donnie Darko, ya’ll