what about this?

tai chi

what about this?


what about this?

their music pissed off the dance floor

so the dance floor took off

there was a broken harmonica

where his heart used to be

record stores vs. Spotify

the world’s been taking selfies since then

instead of playing the piano

which is pretty: fucked up

their music pissed off the dance floor

so the dance floor took off

but not before taking a selfie

the dance floor took a selfie

and then it took off

because it couldn’t stand their music

so he was like, fuck dance floors

he liked their music

even though nobody was playing it


he liked their music

and he liked the fact

that he no longer gave a shit about McDonalds

and he liked astronomy

and Taylor Swift songs

and talking to the lone hippo

at the zoo

because with these things

like Taylor Swift and the hippo

with these things he at least knew where he stood

instead of where he was standing

which was nowhere near the goddamn dance floor

that’s for sure

because the dance floor had split

fine, fucking move on with it

but his feet just wouldn’t quit bitching

even though they’d proved clearly incompetent

in the genre of dance

he wished he’d have taken lessons or something

when he’d still had the chance

he wished that Bill Murray would win an Oscar

he wished he’d stuck with it when he was younger

and gotten really good at Tai Chi

instead of giving up because he’d injured his testicle

doing David Carradine’s Tai Chi moves from

the book Learn Tai Chi the David Carradine way

or whatever it was called

around 12 pages in, following all the instructions

and diagrams and charts, he’d twisted in a way

which had caused his left testicle to twist

in a way that left testicles where never meant to be twisted

twisted to the point where the pain damn near became sentient

and started its own Facebook page and ran for President

that pain causing him to go to the doctor

where he was forced to tell the pretty medical assistant

who’d asked him what he was there for that

I twisted my hmmmmdhfm doing David Carradine Tai Chi.

and because he’d fumbled the word ‘testicle’

she was forced to ask him to repeat himself

and because he’d already discovered that it was pretty much

impossible to say the word ‘testicle’ in front of this woman

because maybe he loved her

he rephrased everything until it came out as

I think I hurt my left nut

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