Your Backbone and My Flute
(translation of poem by Mayakovsky as if mistranslated by Donald Trump)
I’d like to build a wall
around my penis
and I’d very much like for this wall
that surrounds such a thing to be
your vagina
That’s how special you are to me
The media doesn’t get that
If you’re trying to build an ant farm
you’re going to fuck up a lot of ants
before you get the rest of the ants
locked in there……what is that?
Plexiglas? Doesn’t matter
That’s just how it goes
I just happen to be really good
at stepping on things
What can I tell you?
But that’s only when I’m being Blue Collar, baby
In the bedroom nobody knows where to put it
like I know where to put it, believe me
I know where to put it
We’re gonna make so much love
with my flute, shooting Beethoven
all over your backbone,
that it’s gonna take a cleaning crew
half a week to get that place
straightened out again
I know this, because
I’m a job creator
Believe me
I’m going to fuck you so good
that Mexico will have to pay for it
and if Mexico says
‘Screw you’
then I’ll declare the following day
National Fuck Them Day!
and we’ll just order another jar
of lube up from room service
and charge it
to France
Multiverse Johnson 