I’m Going To Build A Miniature Version Of The Wall From Game Of Thrones And Donald Trump Is Going To Pay For It



I’m Going To Build A Miniature Version Of The Wall From Game of Thrones

and Donald Trump Is Going To Pay For It


Because, fuck him


He’s got a scathingly high percentage of people

Hopped up on false laxatives and embryonic fear

And they’re chasing it with a mix of draconian prejudices

Garnished with a 3 inch stalk of celery that hates women

Or a radicalized handful of Skittles because


Every Night at The Trump Fuck Facts Factory

Is Racist Cartoon Ostriches and

The Dangerously Gullible Drink For Free Night!



And it’s driving me mad

I mean, along with all the other stuff

Already sitting behind the big wheel


The thought process involved with this army

Of Donald Trump supporters

Is Driving me mad too


Paraphrasing Deadwood:


In a country in which the presidential nominee can be aroused

By his own misuse of power and a bucket of bacon grease…..


Or paraphrasing Melania: The Billy Bush made him do it!


Ergo/AKA: to put it more accurately

Following the rules in this new World According to Trump

(In order of most responsible)


Hillary Clinton made him do it!

And then the media made him do it!

And after that it’s the Billy Bush’s fault!


And to quote Linus in It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown:



Tonight I’m too tired of almost everything

So fuck it, if they want a goddamn wall

Then I want one too!


My broken heart needs a border

Because it’s all sprawled out

To the point where I can no longer determine

Where my sadness ends and Mexico or Canada or

Chuckie Cheese begins


So I need a goddamn wall!

A miniature version of The Wall from Game of Thrones!

Not just for myself, but for the other things too


I’ve got a house full of action figures that deserve better

Than the present behavior of the outside world

My action figures deserve to live in a world in which

They won’t get their pussies grabbed (is that how you spell the plural of pussy?)

Simply because they’re within tiny handed reach


My action figures deserve to live in a world in which

They’re not demonized for being Vulcan or Targaryen or

A giant sentient marshmallow in a little white hat


Because: This space is a diverse space


Right winged action figures like Boss Hog,

Charlton Heston, and synthetic employees of

Weyland/Yutani cohabitating peacefully with

Obama on a surfboard, Dothraki, and

The Creature From The Black Lagoon


Trump wants to Make Fascism Great Again

My action figures deserve better


Trump’s opinion of women

Makes Zuul look like a romantic


His immigration plan

Makes President Snow seem reasonable


His creepy sexual comments regarding his own daughter

Make Captain Kirk look like a prude


Trump walks around like he’s Indiana Jones with a head cold

Which makes my Indiana Jones action figure feel ashamed

And terrible, waking up in the middle of the night sobbing

“Fuck! What did I do?!”


Independence Day Jeff Goldblum has been running around

The wood floor for weeks now

Screaming “I’ve found a signal that verifies

If Trump’s elected President he’ll fire the current

National Anthem and hire DJ Juicy Bread to write a new one!

We can’t let this happen! (And also, can we get Dennis instead of Randy

to help out this time?) This can’t be done!”


And seriously, I never thought we’d get to this point

Where she’d actually leave me, with her

Chewed skulls for fingertips and green mustard colored eyes……

No wait, sorry, wrong story

I mean where Trump would be where the fuck he is

With a serious shot at being President

I never thought we’d get to that point


But it has been gotten to

And that’s why I’ve decided to build a miniature version of The Wall

From Game of Thrones and Donald Trump is going to pay for it


Because I’m tired and sad and my heart, having

Already been broken has been broken again

And I didn’t think that would be possible

Tonight you can call me DJ Inconsolable


And I’m not the only one


Cthulhu refuses to come out of the water

Admiral Ackbar whispering “I thought I’d warned you”

My pillow shark can’t stop sobbing

The Scooby Doo lunch box unable to reconcile


That it’s last name is Doo

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