I’m Going To Build A Miniature Version Of The Wall From Game of Thrones
and Donald Trump Is Going To Pay For It
Because, fuck him
He’s got a scathingly high percentage of people
Hopped up on false laxatives and embryonic fear
And they’re chasing it with a mix of draconian prejudices
Garnished with a 3 inch stalk of celery that hates women
Or a radicalized handful of Skittles because
Every Night at The Trump Fuck Facts Factory
Is Racist Cartoon Ostriches and
The Dangerously Gullible Drink For Free Night!
And it’s driving me mad
I mean, along with all the other stuff
Already sitting behind the big wheel
The thought process involved with this army
Of Donald Trump supporters
Is Driving me mad too
Paraphrasing Deadwood:
In a country in which the presidential nominee can be aroused
By his own misuse of power and a bucket of bacon grease…..
Or paraphrasing Melania: The Billy Bush made him do it!
Ergo/AKA: to put it more accurately
Following the rules in this new World According to Trump
(In order of most responsible)
Hillary Clinton made him do it!
And then the media made him do it!
And after that it’s the Billy Bush’s fault!
And to quote Linus in It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown:
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Tonight I’m too tired of almost everything
So fuck it, if they want a goddamn wall
Then I want one too!
My broken heart needs a border
Because it’s all sprawled out
To the point where I can no longer determine
Where my sadness ends and Mexico or Canada or
Chuckie Cheese begins
So I need a goddamn wall!
A miniature version of The Wall from Game of Thrones!
Not just for myself, but for the other things too
I’ve got a house full of action figures that deserve better
Than the present behavior of the outside world
My action figures deserve to live in a world in which
They won’t get their pussies grabbed (is that how you spell the plural of pussy?)
Simply because they’re within tiny handed reach
My action figures deserve to live in a world in which
They’re not demonized for being Vulcan or Targaryen or
A giant sentient marshmallow in a little white hat
Because: This space is a diverse space
Right winged action figures like Boss Hog,
Charlton Heston, and synthetic employees of
Weyland/Yutani cohabitating peacefully with
Obama on a surfboard, Dothraki, and
The Creature From The Black Lagoon
Trump wants to Make Fascism Great Again
My action figures deserve better
Trump’s opinion of women
Makes Zuul look like a romantic
His immigration plan
Makes President Snow seem reasonable
His creepy sexual comments regarding his own daughter
Make Captain Kirk look like a prude
Trump walks around like he’s Indiana Jones with a head cold
Which makes my Indiana Jones action figure feel ashamed
And terrible, waking up in the middle of the night sobbing
“Fuck! What did I do?!”
Independence Day Jeff Goldblum has been running around
The wood floor for weeks now
Screaming “I’ve found a signal that verifies
If Trump’s elected President he’ll fire the current
National Anthem and hire DJ Juicy Bread to write a new one!
We can’t let this happen! (And also, can we get Dennis instead of Randy
to help out this time?) This can’t be done!”
And seriously, I never thought we’d get to this point
Where she’d actually leave me, with her
Chewed skulls for fingertips and green mustard colored eyes……
No wait, sorry, wrong story
I mean where Trump would be where the fuck he is
With a serious shot at being President
I never thought we’d get to that point
But it has been gotten to
And that’s why I’ve decided to build a miniature version of The Wall
From Game of Thrones and Donald Trump is going to pay for it
Because I’m tired and sad and my heart, having
Already been broken has been broken again
And I didn’t think that would be possible
Tonight you can call me DJ Inconsolable
And I’m not the only one
Cthulhu refuses to come out of the water
Admiral Ackbar whispering “I thought I’d warned you”
My pillow shark can’t stop sobbing
The Scooby Doo lunch box unable to reconcile
That it’s last name is Doo
Multiverse Johnson 