Ivory And Ivory



Ivory And Ivory


(11/4/16, 4 days before the election)


Donald [fucking] Trump

The ‘t’ is silent


Like a pterodactyl audibly abandoning its own ‘p’

(Extinction curtails the immediate production of urine)

Or how the word ‘Ebony’ isn’t allowed to rent an apartment


In Donald Trump’s version of that tune, which in his new

America tops the charts after being re-titled:

Ivory And Ivory

And performed by however many Darryl brothers

From Newhart we’ve got left


It’s a big hit with that one dick who was driving bad-sitcom slow

This morning in the fast lane and all the Alt-Right kids

The goddamn thing has even inspired a dance craze

856 people have been injured so far for their refusal

To participate, it’s fucking terrible, at some point


The dance involves everyone doing a Human Centipede

Version of The Worm around an organized bonfire

In which they only burn Hillary Clinton bobble-heads

And It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown DVDs



All the goddamn all of it!

I can’t believe people are falling in line

For this guy’s hate sweat/ABC’s of large crowd manipulation executed



Come on!

I mean!

You just know!



In a warm-Caucasian-scented suite 4 miles outside

The end of the goddamn world

Trump’s standing around with his pants down

Looking like a bloated vulture face-shitting into a mirror




Does my dick look pregnant?!

When I turn it like this, this way here?!

I think it looks pregnant!


Rudi Giuliani nodding ‘Yes’

With Melania in the background, speaking


Donald, I want a divorce

And Donald hearing it as

Donald I want a horse


Donald, responding

Sugar Junk, I bought you

18 horses already. I say, You need 18? and you say

you need 18 so I’ve already bought you 18 horses

I’ve given you so, so much

I’m a very very generous person

What more could you want


She tells him for the 19th time that she doesn’t love him

That she intends to spend the rest of her lifetime without him

And Donald smiles and says: You win!

Those tits and that vagina,

You’re a nuclear triad!

You want another horse?



I’ll call my horse guy in the morning

I’ll get you

The best horse around……’’



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