I’m Going To Build A Miniature Version Of The Wall From Game of Thrones
and Donald Trump Is Going To Pay For It (post election day version)
Because, fuck him
with his Confederate flag embracing
Putin loving
sexist
homophobia
his shitty fucking children
and his goddamn wall
What the fuck are you doing America?!
Every Night at The Trump Fuck Facts Factory
Is Racist Cartoon Ostriches and
The Dangerously Gullible Drink For Free Night!
And everything’s wasted
And it’s driving me mad
I mean, along with all the other stuff
Already sitting behind the big wheel
The thought process involved with this orangish Fuhrer
and his army
Of Trump loving supporters
Is driving me mad too
Paraphrasing Deadwood:
In a country in which the president elect can be aroused
By his own misuse of power and a bucket of bacon grease…..
Or paraphrasing Melania: (because according to her everything
Donald does that’s all encompassingly horrible
isn’t his fault) The Billy Bush made him do it!
Ergo/AKA: to put it more accurately
Following the rules in this new World According to Assholes
(In order of those most responsible)
Hillary Clinton made him do it!
And then the media made him do it!
And after that it’s the Billy Bush’s fault!
And to quote Linus in It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown:
“nooooooooooooooo.”
When a Republican wins the election Democrats stock up
on birth control and when a Democrat wins the election
Republicans stock up on guns
and it’s too much madness right now
Tonight I’m tired of almost everything
So fuck it, if they want a goddamn wall
Then I want one too!
My broken heart needs a border
Because it’s all sprawled out
To the point where I can no longer determine
Where my sadness ends and Mexico or Canada or
Chuckie Cheese begins
So I need a goddamn wall!
A miniature version of The Wall from Game of Thrones!
Not just for myself, but for the other things too
I’ve got a house full of broken hearted action figures that deserve better
Than the present behavior of the outside world
My action figures deserve to live in a world in which
They won’t get their lady-bits grabbed
Simply because they’re within stubby handed reach
My action figures deserve to live in a world in which
They’re not demonized for being Vulcan or Targaryen or
A giant sentient marshmallow in a little white hat
Because: This space is a diverse space
In this space we love stuff
even though that stuff almost never loves us back
Conservative action figures like Boss Hog,
Charlton Heston, and synthetic employees of
Weyland/Yutani cohabitating peacefully with
Obama on a surfboard, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and
The Creature From The Black Lagoon
Trump wants top level security clearance
for his horrible
shitty
hair gel’d kids
Trump just appointed a white supremacist
to be his Godfather Robert Duval
Trump wants to Make Fascism Great Again
My action figures deserve better
Trump’s opinion of women
Makes Zuul look like a romantic
His immigration plan
Makes President Snow seem reasonable
His creepy sexual comments regarding his own daughter
Make Captain Kirk look like a prude
Trump walks around like he’s Indiana Jones with a head cold
Which makes my Indiana Jones action figure feel ashamed
And terrible, waking up in the middle of the night sobbing
“Fuck! What did I do?!”
Independence Day Jeff Goldblum has been running around
The wood floor for a week now since the election
Screaming I found a signal dammit, why weren’t you listening?!
They were using our own satellites
against us again and all that
We can’t let this happen! (And also, can we get Dennis instead of Randy
to help out this time?) This can’t be done!”
But it is done. It’s fucking done.
And seriously, I knew it could probably happen
but I never thought we’d get to this point
Where she’d actually leave me, with her
Chewed skulls for fingertips and green mustard colored eyes and……
No wait, sorry, wrong story
Helen, I mean Donald
Donald,
I mean I never thought we’d get to the point
where you’d be where the fuck your are
President of an entire country
I never thought we’d get here
But here has been gotten to
And that’s why I’ve decided to build a miniature version of The Wall
From Game of Thrones and Donald Trump is going to pay for it
Because I’m tired and sad and my heart, having
Already been broken has been broken again
And I didn’t think that would be possible
Tonight I am DJ Inconsolable
And I’m not the only one
Cthulhu refuses to come out of the water
Admiral Ackbar whispering “Didn’t I warn you?”
My pillow shark can’t stop sobbing
The Scooby Doo lunch box unable to reconcile the un-reality
of the rise to power of a reality TV douchbag with the fact
That it’s last name is Doo
Multiverse Johnson 