We’ll Always Have Bugfuck


We’ll Always Have Bugfuck

(for Harlan Ellison)




The leaving is constantly happening

but that doesn’t mean I don’t scream

like one of Harlan Ellison’s army of typewriters

when something else I love’s gone


Fuck, Death’s


,,,,,,,,,,, a really hard worker

damn it,


it’s a lot of other things too, but

it works hard

you’ve gotta give it that


That motherfucker just keeps working

and ending everything and working

It never quits!


I blame it on…….., no, not now

fuck him, President Obvious


(I’m tired of thinking about Trump right now

so right now I’m not thinking about…….)


I mean, it’s just



…..this molotov’d world

with its crochet’d insanity, humping things out

in its favorite blue dress!……..


The guy lies to his own ball sack,

he’s orange soda in an upside down deep fryer

and I’m tired of his daily menu of hate rants


and cheap cult manipulations

so tonight, I’m not thinking about him!)

(So goddamn it, stop thinking about him!)


(Ok? it’s just…………

He’s the kinda guy who treats his own dump

like it’s last month’s mistress

and screams in the shower

at the first sign of his own prick)


(tonight’s safety word = Bugfuck)


(Shit, you’re doing it again!)

(Knock it off, asshole)


(Don’t think about Trump!)


Death’s work ethic:




I blame it on this bullshit heat of summer

and butterflies dying between driveways

and everything we’ve ever learned

from reading Us Magazine

when we were young


No, I blame it on bird droppings

and Toys R Us dying

and a bunch of things I’ve never heard of before


Fuck, scratch that

(There’s no fun there)

(and I’m tired of not having fun)

Let’s blame it on the Rocky movies



Because what if before Rocky

Death had started thinking to itself

‘Why am I working as hard as I’m working at this?

Maybe it’s time I slack off and stop working so hard

at my job.’, because killing everything is exhausting


Maybe, before watching Rocky, Death had decided

to start slacking off

everything would still die, inevitably


because that’s just what we do


but before viewing Rocky,

Death had decided to go about the killing

of everything

at a more casual/less prize fighting pace,


thus extending billions

of various individual life spans





that’s what Death did

and for its very first time

in its double sided car-crash existence


Death called in fake-sick to work

and stayed home

instead of killing everything


“Wow,” Death found itself

saying out loud, “this is



Instead of performing murder

Death stretched out on the couch

and read Dostoyevsky and Jack Collom

and Vonnegut

while listening to the Gwyneth Paltrow

broke Chris Martin’s heart Coldplay album

and then it almost ate spinach dip

and actually drank 12 pints of Canadian Mist

and swallowed 3 Lincoln Logs because it had

mistook them for xanex


and thought, this not killing everything all the time

is kinda great………………


decided to jerk off for a century or two

but got immediately sidetracked

and started alphabetizing

the various cast members from The Love Boat

in its head instead


and then: blah blah, blah. Blah

You know how this goes

Halfway through it’s very first day off

Death decided to go to the movies

and that’s where it watched Rocky

and everything went back to being

punch drunk and fucked


Death was so goddamn inspired

by Burges Meredith’s gruff motivational tactics

and watching Rocky wake up early and chase chickens

and run up stairs after heroically chatting up

the fucking goddamn love of his life while she was

wearing her glasses


or however the scene goes


Death got so goddamned pumped up

after watching Rocky that it walked out

of the theater, threw a pair of extra large

American flag shorts on


and went right back to butchering everything

at an accelerated montage chopped together



and then, as Vonnegut said so perfectly

“So it goes”

But what if Death hadn’t watched Rocky

that night?


What if it’d watched

Hope Floats

or The Three Amigos instead?


Shit, we’ll never know




We’re left dealing with what we have

to deal with

trying to figure things out

in a world that’s been made

out of leaving


where we’ll always have Shatterday

and the memories of what it was like

to love everything we’ve ever loved

before it has left us


(which brings us back

to where we started)


Bugfuck!, I mean




The leaving is constantly happening

but that doesn’t mean I don’t scream

like one of Harlan Ellison’s army of typewriters

when something else I love is gone

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