Booberry’s Last Stand

The Odd, a Sea Trilogy


Death Scene Poem



Booberry’s Last Stand

aka: Frostbite


Beneath a dirty tupperware bowl moon

cracked in a sky of marshmallow stars

Booberry looked up from the field of battle

locking eyes with an alien space ship

the size of a liquor store

as it dropped wooly mammoths

like they were cannon balls

carpeting the parking lot

with casualties

& bedspreading a collapsed field

of dead cows who’s milked days

are now over

and will never again

hear themselves saying stuff like;



The blue cereal box model-turned-soldier

had just taken an alien phase ray to the stomach

and now sat shaking

gut shot and freezing

post watching his own ghost innards

spit out over warped concrete

like a slot machine screaming

“Jackpot!” in reverse


“You’re insides appear to have gotten

away from you.” the Erotobot 40000

who had witnessed the whole thing

and now found itself pinned down

behind a station wagon styled Volvo

with Booberry, observed.


“That’s what things do around here.

They get away from you.” Booberry

mumbled while staring down at his

own internal workings, which had

for whatever reasons rearranged themselves


against the cracked cement into something

shaped sort of like a long extinct species

of push-up performing dinosaurs

riding an Orson Wells styled sled

in the dark


“You appear somber, and that wound

smells mortal. But you’re a ghost already,

aren’t you? Can you die?” the Robot asked.


“Yes, I can die. I’m a ghost, so obviously.

I did it once. It will happen again.”


“Huh? That’s weird. Well, I would hate

to have to watch you slump though your

final minutes all anguished and shit. Would you

like me to suck your dick?”


[historical note: the Erotobot 4000 had

previous to this exact moment

were it found itself pinned down in the middle

of a battle to save the entire population of Earth

from a cosmic army of freedom raping

Gorgolian Nebula Oligarch-Nationalists,


prior to all this it had spent hundreds of years

working the harsh environments of moon planets


and, you know, it gets lonely out there

isolated pockets of humanity, just trying to get by

so: other duties as assigned


The Robot had spent a considerable amount of time

going down on various male and female colonists

when it felt a particular life form was in danger of breaching

their breaking point, or the end could be seen on the horizon

behind their space jeans,

it was just trying to help


sometimes it seemed to cheer them up)



Booberry looked up at the robot and spit

blood across everything when what

he’d meant to do was laugh


“I’m sorry Sir, I should’ve asked first.

Do ghosts like you even have dicks?”


“Absolutely.” Booberry grimaced. The world

had begun to grow blurry. “I have the sort

of dick that will haunt you.”


[historical note: Booberry was kidding. Or was he?

Doesn’t matter. The Robot had no sense of humor.

Horrible. That’s no way to live]


“That’s great. Would you like it sucked then.”

the Robot asked. “Maybe just a little bit?”


“Sure, why not.” Booberry whispered,

his immediate surroundings tangled

in between the result, that she would never eat his cereal again

and the entire loss of everything


Yep, before the Robot could get close enough to his transparent hooligan

Booberry thought about Her and returned

to his senses again


“No, don’t touch that. I mean, do you

have a crayon? I want to write something

for someone. And then I want you to

take it to them.”


The Robot looked doubtful

“This battle isn’t going well sir.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed recently,

what with your dying and all, but we’re

pretty pinned down.”


[historical note: pretty as in ‘almost thoroughly’

not, that one way she looked that one time,

when he looked down as they were both screaming out

the various names of code worded vegetables in the almost dark]


“This battle isn’t going well sir.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed recently,

what with your dying and all, but we’re

pretty pinned down.”



“Fuck that, you sound like Frankenberry.”


Looking over at the alien blast gun

beside him, Booberry said

“I’ll cover you.”


In the sky and all the ground around them

true heroes were dying



‘Boy With Apple’ lost his apple

John McClain took an alien forehead bomb to the face

Care Bears were dropping like Care Bears

instead of flies


What’s This Thing Do? Bear triggered a Googlearian explosive device

killing herself and the winged horse from Clash Of The Titans

who’d been doing its best to convince the curious bear to leave

the goddamned bomb shaped thing alone


Chestwound Bear lived up to its name

Dying from a massive chest wound


Don’t Shoot Me There Bear

did not get the wish which he was named for

It took him three excruciating hours to bleed out

During the process, he hallucinated


The perfect corn bread recipe

The only Care Bear he’d ever loved, naked (and)

Deleted scenes from the final season of Game Of Thrones


“I’ll cover you.” Booberry had just quietly screamed


“I appreciate that sir. But the other thing

is, I had a crayon, earlier, but I got nervous

and was using it to practice, you know,

my technique regarding blowjobs and female genital fellash-ee-oh

because let’s face it, we’re almost inevitably done for here,

and the doomed love blow jobs and stuff,


and well,

I accidently bit it in half and now,

did you say ‘crayon’?, well

it’s gone.”


Booberry sighed batheticly,

picked up the enormous blaster,

and asked the Robot to take Her

a message


“You’re a telepath, right? You know who

I’m thinking of?”


[historical note: he was thinking about Her,

the woman who’d once told him

that she was taking a bath


and how more than anything

in that moment, he’d wanted

to be her bathtub


it had almost happened

but in the end he wasn’t a bathtub

so it hadn’t happened]


“Yes sir.” the Robot replied.

It understood who Her was.


“Right. Then tell her this, tell her

                     Boo, Forever.”


Booberry almost stuttered

His wounds were playing William Tell

with his mortality


every goddamn moment was an arrow

inadvertently aimed

at his heart


“Forever Boo. Sure. I can do that.”


“No, Boo, Forever.” Booberry fumbled a little bit,

“It’s from Brautigan,

damn it. She’ll know what it means.”


“I will tell her.” the Robot promised


                       Boo, Forever


“Good. Now go.” Booberry’s eyelids

had grown heavy, and his grip

on the blaster no longer looked tight


after several seconds of the absence of motion

the Erotobot 4000 bowed sadly as it

engaged its primary thrusters


“Sleep tight.” the Robot screamed

before launching itself into the atmosphere

where its attention became immediately gang banged

by acrobatic attempts at avoiding the alien

missile barrage and trying really hard not

to bump into the flying sharks


but Booberry was not sleeping, he was just thinking

about the last scene from The Grey for a little bit


hearing the Robot blast off

Booberry opened his eyes for the last time,

aimed the alien death ray upwards,


and vowed to miss Her like gunpowder

beneath a sky exploding

and then, just like that


like the ‘p’ in pterodactyl

the rest of his world

went silent too


Boo, Forever. Motherfuckers.”


(there is no sound in space)




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