The Odd, a Sea Trilogy
Death Scene Poem
Booberry’s Last Stand
aka: Frostbite
Beneath a dirty tupperware bowl moon
cracked in a sky of marshmallow stars
Booberry looked up from the field of battle
locking eyes with an alien space ship
the size of a liquor store
as it dropped wooly mammoths
like they were cannon balls
carpeting the parking lot
with casualties
& bedspreading a collapsed field
of dead cows who’s milked days
are now over
and will never again
hear themselves saying stuff like;
Moo
The blue cereal box model-turned-soldier
had just taken an alien phase ray to the stomach
and now sat shaking
gut shot and freezing
post watching his own ghost innards
spit out over warped concrete
like a slot machine screaming
“Jackpot!” in reverse
“You’re insides appear to have gotten
away from you.” the Erotobot 40000
who had witnessed the whole thing
and now found itself pinned down
behind a station wagon styled Volvo
with Booberry, observed.
“That’s what things do around here.
They get away from you.” Booberry
mumbled while staring down at his
own internal workings, which had
for whatever reasons rearranged themselves
against the cracked cement into something
shaped sort of like a long extinct species
of push-up performing dinosaurs
riding an Orson Wells styled sled
in the dark
“You appear somber, and that wound
smells mortal. But you’re a ghost already,
aren’t you? Can you die?” the Robot asked.
“Yes, I can die. I’m a ghost, so obviously.
I did it once. It will happen again.”
“Huh? That’s weird. Well, I would hate
to have to watch you slump though your
final minutes all anguished and shit. Would you
like me to suck your dick?”
[historical note: the Erotobot 4000 had
previous to this exact moment
were it found itself pinned down in the middle
of a battle to save the entire population of Earth
from a cosmic army of freedom raping
Gorgolian Nebula Oligarch-Nationalists,
prior to all this it had spent hundreds of years
working the harsh environments of moon planets
and, you know, it gets lonely out there
isolated pockets of humanity, just trying to get by
so: other duties as assigned
The Robot had spent a considerable amount of time
going down on various male and female colonists
when it felt a particular life form was in danger of breaching
their breaking point, or the end could be seen on the horizon
behind their space jeans,
it was just trying to help
sometimes it seemed to cheer them up)
Booberry looked up at the robot and spit
blood across everything when what
he’d meant to do was laugh
“I’m sorry Sir, I should’ve asked first.
Do ghosts like you even have dicks?”
“Absolutely.” Booberry grimaced. The world
had begun to grow blurry. “I have the sort
of dick that will haunt you.”
[historical note: Booberry was kidding. Or was he?
Doesn’t matter. The Robot had no sense of humor.
Horrible. That’s no way to live]
“That’s great. Would you like it sucked then.”
the Robot asked. “Maybe just a little bit?”
“Sure, why not.” Booberry whispered,
his immediate surroundings tangled
in between the result, that she would never eat his cereal again
and the entire loss of everything
Yep, before the Robot could get close enough to his transparent hooligan
Booberry thought about Her and returned
to his senses again
“No, don’t touch that. I mean, do you
have a crayon? I want to write something
for someone. And then I want you to
take it to them.”
The Robot looked doubtful
“This battle isn’t going well sir.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed recently,
what with your dying and all, but we’re
pretty pinned down.”
[historical note: pretty as in ‘almost thoroughly’
not, that one way she looked that one time,
when he looked down as they were both screaming out
the various names of code worded vegetables in the almost dark]
“This battle isn’t going well sir.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed recently,
what with your dying and all, but we’re
pretty pinned down.”
“Fuck that, you sound like Frankenberry.”
Looking over at the alien blast gun
beside him, Booberry said
“I’ll cover you.”
In the sky and all the ground around them
true heroes were dying
‘Boy With Apple’ lost his apple
John McClain took an alien forehead bomb to the face
Care Bears were dropping like Care Bears
instead of flies
What’s This Thing Do? Bear triggered a Googlearian explosive device
killing herself and the winged horse from Clash Of The Titans
who’d been doing its best to convince the curious bear to leave
the goddamned bomb shaped thing alone
Chestwound Bear lived up to its name
Dying from a massive chest wound
Don’t Shoot Me There Bear
did not get the wish which he was named for
It took him three excruciating hours to bleed out
During the process, he hallucinated
The perfect corn bread recipe
The only Care Bear he’d ever loved, naked (and)
Deleted scenes from the final season of Game Of Thrones
“I’ll cover you.” Booberry had just quietly screamed
“I appreciate that sir. But the other thing
is, I had a crayon, earlier, but I got nervous
and was using it to practice, you know,
my technique regarding blowjobs and female genital fellash-ee-oh
because let’s face it, we’re almost inevitably done for here,
and the doomed love blow jobs and stuff,
and well,
I accidently bit it in half and now,
did you say ‘crayon’?, well
it’s gone.”
Booberry sighed batheticly,
picked up the enormous blaster,
and asked the Robot to take Her
a message
“You’re a telepath, right? You know who
I’m thinking of?”
[historical note: he was thinking about Her,
the woman who’d once told him
that she was taking a bath
and how more than anything
in that moment, he’d wanted
to be her bathtub
it had almost happened
but in the end he wasn’t a bathtub
so it hadn’t happened]
“Yes sir.” the Robot replied.
It understood who Her was.
“Right. Then tell her this, tell her
Boo, Forever.”
Booberry almost stuttered
His wounds were playing William Tell
with his mortality
every goddamn moment was an arrow
inadvertently aimed
at his heart
“Forever Boo. Sure. I can do that.”
“No, Boo, Forever.” Booberry fumbled a little bit,
“It’s from Brautigan,
damn it. She’ll know what it means.”
“I will tell her.” the Robot promised
Boo, Forever
“Good. Now go.” Booberry’s eyelids
had grown heavy, and his grip
on the blaster no longer looked tight
after several seconds of the absence of motion
the Erotobot 4000 bowed sadly as it
engaged its primary thrusters
“Sleep tight.” the Robot screamed
before launching itself into the atmosphere
where its attention became immediately gang banged
by acrobatic attempts at avoiding the alien
missile barrage and trying really hard not
to bump into the flying sharks
but Booberry was not sleeping, he was just thinking
about the last scene from The Grey for a little bit
hearing the Robot blast off
Booberry opened his eyes for the last time,
aimed the alien death ray upwards,
and vowed to miss Her like gunpowder
beneath a sky exploding
and then, just like that
like the ‘p’ in pterodactyl
the rest of his world
went silent too
“Boo, Forever. Motherfuckers.”
(there is no sound in space)
boo…..
Multiverse Johnson 