I Feel Mr. Bad For Mr. Big
Mr. Big sold its song
‘To Be With You’
to Wendy’s
and then Wendy’s
changed the lyrics
to be about hamburgers
and that made me sad
because I don’t eat hamburgers anymore
that song has moved
beyond something
I can relate to
‘to’ or ‘too’?
‘be’ or ‘bee?
you or you?
Motley Crue recently turned
‘Home Sweet Home’ into a lousy
Property Insurance Company
commercial
and that made me sad too
because I don’t own any property
and am thus incapable
of becoming nostalgic
over the peace of mind
that must come
from knowing that if your goddamn house
burns down
you’re both melodically
and financially
covered
Tommy Lee running for his drum kit
after just having played the piano
is now paced to the beat
of flexible monthly premium rates
I don’t understand
Where did Diet Vanilla Pepsi go?
Where the hell’s its goddamn
hair metal band theme song?
why am I always getting
so goddamn beat down
about things like this?
the world contains billions of people
with insurance
and burned down houses
who are still in love
with their high school
cheeseburgers
and probably prefer
the brand new commercialized versions
to the originals
because hell,
we’re all just one
lousy tour of Japan away
from becoming a fast food commercial
so it’s easier, maybe
believing that
if something you care about
burns down
you can easily replace it
affordably priced
hamburgers
need love too
Multiverse Johnson 