I See You, Rachael

I See You, Rachel

for 6-10-21, the day Harrison Ford whittled a wooden horse for his replicant baby
and carved the date on its foot before, or perhaps after, Rachel died

Rachel,

The deed was watched, previously
And then it was now
The day had come
		like the future’s back porch owned
		by a retired Rear Admiral
		pounded by some sort of butt shaped storm

If only whittling could beat the death of things, damn it
but the only thing whittling ever beat is the chipped wood inside
	which it is dug

Rachel,

You were loved like a left suspender 
loves the right suspender

Please believe that!
For interlinked’s sake, Robot Woman!
He built you a horse!

No wait, it was a house
	and also that was a different movie

And also the horse that he made, it wasn’t for you
	It was for the Dave Batista described ‘miracle’
	that couldn’t have happened without you

And also on the subject of without you:
	You died during a mythological childbirth
	and Harrison Ford loved you so much
	that he immediately set to work and carved the perfect horse
		out of wood
		and gave it to the thing that killed you

		and then he mourned another end to something
as they buried you beside
		the goddamn tree

And it’s that horse, Rachel
with today’s date carved into its foot
that we’ve been placed on this Earth here tonight
	to celebrate

Because, Rachel

Way back in 2017 when I watched Blade Runner 2049 for the first 3 times in the theater
	I loved almost everything about it, and one of those almost everythings
	was that hand carved wooden horse
 
That horse represents hope in a world in which hope has about the same life span
as a middle aged Mayfly 
The horse represents one of those brief moments of happiness 
us humans or replicated humans experience 
between all of those long moments of everything else behaving like epic shits

In Harrison Ford’s case, those moments that surrounded the hiding out with Rachel 
at the hidy farm and the carving of the little horse, everything post 2019 
when he went on the run with Rachel because they were being hunted 
by Blade Runners less sympathetic than Edward James Almos 

and the moments pre the later half of 2021 until 2049 
after Rachel died giving birth to their replicant blooded baby 
and he had to abandon his daughter for her own safety and flee 
to an also abandoned Las Vegas to wait out the rest of his time 
with a real or not real dog, an unlimited supply of whisky, and a library 
of books the size of a casino hotel

where he watched holographic Elvis shows on the weekends
and ate expired cans of vegetarian ravioli composed by

Chef Boy E Lee
the Jake E Lee of virtuosoly canned pasta 

Rachael, 

If you believe any of the rumors that have managed to survive from the future
Chef Boy E Lee had an eminator instead of a dick
	and you don’t want to know where he used to take that goddamn thing!

	It’d just make you want to throw away all the can openers
	and never say ‘And noodles’ again

Rachael,

That wooden horse, come on, it represents those moments that we love 
that we can never go back to
and for Harrison Ford, there’s no going back to a normal time 
when you’re not not not around 

Nothing’s normal
There is no going back to anything
Normal is just another goddamn synthetic owl fake pissing in the woods, and

‘Back’ only exists in the form of porches
and yards behind houses and on the upper torso
of human and replicant anatomy

Rachel, 

Your eyes were green eyes
like the Coldplay song
or Oscar the Grouch

and Harrison Ford had a Nexus 38 level crush on you
	(it was outrageously evolved)
	(if a Nexus 37, which doesn’t even exist yet, were to have that strong of a crush 
on anything, its dick would run for cover, diving behind the nearest belt loop
		as its throbbing Dick-Head went mad and de-atomized into something
		resembling the consistency of Cinnamon Toast Crunch)


Unfortunately, mortality inevitably trumps a crush
	no matter how big that crush is

That being said like it was said:

Rachael,

Happy Deathday
You’ve no way to already know this, but Harrison Ford, he took it hard

There wasn’t enough casino whiskey in all of also-abandoned Las Vegas
to Blackout out your memory from Harrison Ford’s gruff skull

But at least he still had the horse
	No. That’s right, he didn’t
	
Rachael,

After you left, he didn’t even have the horse anymore
because he’d given it away to your killer
and then your killer had to go and lose the goddamn thing

until eventually Ryan Gosling found it? 
Hidden in the goddamn catacombs located in the middle of the saddest goddamn place on Earth
And then he thought it was his for a little while?
And he had his own wooden horse moment
with the actual wooden horse? Because for a handful of scenes there,
he found himself hoping for something, and he was almost happy? 

Only to find out that memories are unreliable
They’re like the Chef Boy E Lee of canned pastas
and that he’ll most likely die alone like the rest of us

like a transistor radio 
dropped in the mud
after being randomly/drunk purchased

from from the 399th Radio Shack 
standing in line for its own extinction

Rachael,

That wooden goddamn horse that you’ve inspired stands for something!
It gives us something to climb onto 
           when everything else around us is screaming
           ("I see you, Lewis!"--Vince V, Return To Paradise)

           The End